10 Skills Every Husband Needs

Matt Smethurst | November 4, 2015


Listen. Talk. Fight. Grow. Provide. Rest. Serve. Submit. Pursue. Worship.

Being a husband is easy. Being a good one, however—one characterized by those ten actions—is not. That’s why I’m thankful for Darrin and Amie Patrick’s new book, The Dude’s Guide to Marriage: Ten Skills Every Husband Must Develop to Love His Wife Well (Thomas Nelson). Cultivating such behaviors in a consistent manner, they contend, is the secret to a healthy, Christ-honoring marriage.

I spoke with the Patricks—highschool sweethearts, pastor and wife, parents of four children—about the biggest issue couples face, the danger of mere compatibility, the effect of kids, and more.


What's the most serious problem you perceive in typical Christian marriages?

Darrin: The husband is passive and the wife gets disillusioned with his lack of engagement and leadership. It’s a huge failure in headship.

Amie: I think we tend to impose all kinds of our own ideas and expectations onto our marriages that aren’t biblical, which leads to a great deal of confusion and disappointment.

Darrin, you confess: “It didn't take too many years of marriage for me to see that I had a deficient philosophy that would destroy my marriage if I did not repent of it.” What was this deficient philosophy and what, humanly speaking, occasioned


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