3 Reasons Pastors and Their Wives Should Have Close Friends in the Church

Megan Hill | March 10, 2016


Recently my husband and I had coffee with another pastor and his wife. We discussed our testimonies, our families, and our churches. Eventually, one of them asked, “So, who are your friends?” 

My husband began to list some of our dearest friends. The woman with whom I had a weekly prayer date for 10 years. The woman who warmed our hearts with encouragement and our bodies with early-morning scrambled eggs and coffee. The woman who walked into my life as a teenager and remained as a kindred spirit. 

I don’t know if it surprised the other couple, but it surprised me a little. All of those friends were members of our church. 

‘They Can’t Be Your Friends’

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In 12 years as a pastor’s wife, the one ministry manifesto I’ve heard repeated more than any other is You can’t have close friends in your church. This prohibition is handed down to seminary wives and passed around ministry families like gospel truth. Church people might be objects of ministry. They may be burdens or blessings. They may be acquaintances, neighbors, fellow laborers even. But they can never be friends. 

This is a lie.

The church of Christ is never “us” against “them.” It’s never ministry families on one side and…


To read the rest of this article, visit https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/3-reasons-pastors-and-wives-should-have-close-friends-in-church.