A Pastor Is Not Married to the Church

Megan Hill | February 12, 2016


More than 10 years ago, on the Sunday when my husband—newly graduated from seminary—was being ordained as a pastor, a godly older man approached us. “Well,” he said gravely to my husband, “today is the day you marry this church.”

My heart sank. I was ready to be the pastor’s wife. But I wasn’t ready to be the pastor’s other wife.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to be.

Since that day, I’ve often heard the same myth repeated in various forms. Some are meant to encourage: “Thanks for sharing your husband with us. We’re glad he’s the husband of the whole church.” Some are sympathetic: “It must be hard to be married to a guy who’s married to the church.” And some are designed to minimize expectations: “Of course, a pastor’s wife has to realize her husband has two wives, and she can’t expect him to focus much on her.”

Servant, Not a Husband  

I’m not sure where this myth comes from, but it isn’t true.

In Scripture the apostles refer to members of the church as their brothers and sisters (Phil. 4:1), their children (1 John 2:1), even their loved ones (Phil. 2:12). They express “abundant love” (2 Cor. 2:4)…


To read the rest of this article, visit http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/a-pastor-is-not-married-to-the-church.