The One Ingredient Essential to Biblical Manhood

Thabiti Anyabwile | February 1, 2016


Curtis burst into my office, pushing past my administrative assistant, leaving in his wake papers fluttering from her desk. “I can’t take this anymore! I’m done!”

I continued looking at the papers on my desk as he paced the floor in front of me. Finishing the paragraph I had been reading, I looked up at Curtis and said, “Hello, Curtis. It’s good to see you.”

“I can’t take this anymore! He’s driving me crazy!” Chest heaving, still pacing, eyes darting from one side of the room to the other, Curtis seemed to be having a conversation with himself more than me.

I finally came around the desk and asked Curtis to sit on the brown futon across from me. He paced a minute more then forced his body onto the couch. “Now,” I said softly, “tell me what’s going on.”

I learned a lot about Curtis that day—about his acrimonious relationship with his father, about his desire for a new life, about his ambitions as an artist, and about the workings of his inner life. At this point in his 19-year-old life, Curtis lacked that one ingredient essential to biblical manhood: self-control.

Why Self-Control Is the One Essential Ingredient 

Self-control (or…


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